Business Gate

WITH Martin Klepko we've known each other for a while. Martin and other colleagues are behind the Karvinsky project Business Gatein which students have Silesian University The opportunity to work with companies on real projects. Martin turned to me with a request to share practical experience with the students on the topic of presentation skills.

One of the paradoxes of life is that even I, by nature an introvert who fell asleep at any performance in my childhood, now speak in front of an audience almost on a daily basis. No one believes that I am an introvert today (except Terka, my wife, everything is different at home... 🙂) But if I could discover the magic of public speaking and get rid of my anxiety, so can anyone else who doesn't believe in themselves yet.

Basic problem — trema

During the debate in Business Gate, we went through the classic presentation “Best practices”, but we always ran into the problem of tramp anyway:

• “I throw up my hands because I'm nervous...”
• “I talk fast because I'm nervous...”
• “I'm afraid not to make a mistake. But then I'll do it and it'll make me nervous.”
• “I hunt for words because I'm afraid they won't understand me... and when I hunt for them, I do the nasty -eee- or -just- at it.”

Where does nervousness come from? IN Previous article I described the basic thesis that behind these emotions are our beliefs anchored deep in the unconscious. After a while of coaching, we come to such possible beliefs:

• “If I don't say it correctly and accurately, punishment will come.” (Formula from school)
• “If I say it wrong, they'll laugh at me.” (Childhood formula)
• “If they don't understand me, I'll be an idiot.”
• “I have to say it right, to make a good impression to assert myself.”

In the background is the archetypal belief that we will end up rejecting, not appreciating, that we will not fit in. And yet from birth we strive for nothing but to be accepted by our surroundings fully and completely as we are; for the love of our neighbors.

The solution

IN from that earlier article The general principle of how to change beliefs, habits is outlined. Here I will focus on simple practical advice that comes from these principles.

When we are in a stressful situation and we make a mistake, for example, we overreact, the so-called trigger is triggered. Negative spiral. I.e. from that moment on I get even more nervous, make even more mistakes, etc. There is simply an affirmation of the basic belief that we will be rejected. The same principle works in reverse, and we can use it — let's call it the Positive Spiral.

It all starts with preparation — sit down and think about any part of your body that you like; I understand that the first reaction will probably be — I don't like anything! Ok, give it a second chance and you'll definitely come up with something: eyes, eyebrows, hair, ears, face, voice, smile, boobs, hands, ass, feet, whatever.

In the second phase then look at yourself in the mirror every morning and evening and admire the part in question, as if you were giving a compliment to a complete stranger. Do this for at least 30 days.

During third stage — i.e. during a presentation or stressful situation where you feel an increase in nervousness and you are convinced that “everyone around can see it” (how I blush, how I make mistakes,...), focus your attention on the emotion in front of the mirror - focus your attention on the part that you like it yourself and imagine that others appreciate it as much as you. From that place, a positive spiral begins to develop, acceptance and tranquility.

In the fourth stage Show gratitude — recognize the progress you've made over the time and feel a very simple, enlightened thought: “Thank you.” This is a very strong, calming emotion.

Try it out and write us your experience.